It is a dangerous combination: a man embodying the qualities of Ares, the ultimate protector, and Hermes, the messenger.
The Silent Protector
Ares faces challenges head-on, disregarding his own well-being. His sole focus is protection, and he will slay whatever dragons stand in his way—whether in the physical realm, the boardroom, the classroom, or even at a family gathering. The moment he perceives a threat, he is all in.
This warrior energy is not exclusive to men. Women, too, carry Ares within them—the fierce tigress who defends her young, the innocent, and the vulnerable.
Yet, when Ares’ warrior nature merges with Hermes’ gifts—the communicator, the trickster, the one with winged feet—an interesting dynamic emerges.
The Ares-Hermes Duality
Ares rules from the solar plexus, leading with instinct, gut-driven action, and an unwavering commitment to his role as protector.
Hermes, in contrast, operates from the throat. He makes deals, demands, charms, and soothes. He can just as easily disappear, slipping away to his next adventure. He does not linger when things get tough. He delivers the message, but he does not always stay to face its consequences.
The Challenge
For the Ares-Hermes man, his silence is not neglect. He knows his family is safe because he has ensured it. He protects, provides, and plans—but his Hermes side remains quiet. From his perspective, there is no need for excessive communication; he has already taken action.
To him, words are unnecessary when his commitment is rock solid. He does not withhold love or involvement—he simply sees no reason to perpetuate fear or anxiety.
Yet, for those who love him, his silence is often misinterpreted. They know he will protect them, but they operate from their own wounds. His quiet strength can be seen as avoidance, indifference, or detachment. They may believe he does not take threats seriously or that he is disengaged when, in reality, he is simply handling things in his own way.
What Can Be Done?
For the Ares-Hermes man (or woman, though this dynamic often presents more strongly in men), the answer is not in doing more—he is already giving everything he has. Nor is it in doing less—this would go against his instincts and create inner resistance.
Neither should he be forced to communicate in a way that feels unnatural to him. He is, after all, the master of both expression and silence.
The key lies in awareness. Recognizing which aspect—Ares the Protector or Hermes the Silent One—is leading at any given moment and understanding how that impacts those around him. Protection does not always look as expected, nor does communication always take the form we were conditioned to recognize.
The Bridge to Healing
The true resolution is not in the solar plexus (action) or the throat (expression), but in the heart—the bridge between the two.
Ares-Hermes man, you do not need to do more, less, or differently. You do not need to speak more, less, or differently. Instead, bring your heart to the table!
You do not need to “open” it or be vulnerable—not until you can do so securely and authentically. That time may never come, and that is okay.
But can you begin to let go of the belief that you are only the Silent Protector??
That presents a whole new challenge.
Now, about that heart…
#workingwitharchetypes
About the Author:
Celeste Du Toit is a Durban-based Soul Alignment Coach. Through Transformational Coaching, Family and Systems Constellation work, and Holistic Therapies and Bodywork, she helps you shed layers of past beliefs and patterns, moving you closer to the life your heart knows is possible.
Connect with Celeste: https://linktr.ee/liveyourtruthwithceleste
