A story of the archetypal faces inside of us, and how they can fester, fail, or flourish.
My wish is for you to allow awareness, wisdom and healing to guide you towards the most flourishing expression of your soul as you journey through the archetypal stages of life.
She wanted to throw her shit. She wanted to scream, and rant, and rave.
But she didn’t. She clenched her teeth, tightened her chest, and uttered silent obscenities.
She could not show how much she hurt. Or could she??
How can she let the world know that she felt betrayed, overlooked, and forgotten? Insignificant and unimportant. Unsafe, unsupported, even unloved.
Bitter, vengeful venom flooded her conscious mind, usurping all reason. It crept through her like an ugly, jealous monster.
The injustice of it all!
In moments of clarity, she sees the bigger picture. The Adult in her (which she is) steps in and reminds her what “they” do is of no concern to her. That nobody owes her anything. That she is worthy. That this is just another lesson on her journey. That she is bigger than this.
And that the venom inside of her is making her sick.
But, just like that, when her Wounded Inner Child is unguarded amidst another reminder of the “injustice”, she becomes ugly. Literally and figuratively. Her mouth pulls to the side, her jaw hardens, and her eyes become dark and small.
And because the Wounded Inner Child does not know better, she steps into the next phase, and face: The Victim. (Of course, many faces could appear; The Victim is just one of many who tries to steal the show, and in this case, temporarily takes the throne.) Her Inner Victim takes it all as personal attacks on her being, and so energetically invites more. More injustice, more betrayal, more overlooking.
Suppressed, and without the means to acknowledge, express, or release her fears, she channels her resulting anger into a shadow aspect of a Teenage Rebel, and becomes the one who “willingly” bears the brunt, even though she is an adult. The hurt inside her commands her to show a twisted “noble” one. One who, because she takes it “all”, bears “everything”, and receives “nothing”, will perhaps – finally – get some recognition. Indeed, people might even look up to her – the silent, graceful one, who, despite being so badly treated, so abused, and so overlooked, remains upright. Ready to take the next blow. The next injustice, the next wound, or the next abuse.
But she has done her inner work. She knows the Wounded Child and Victim Teen lives inside her. Left to their own devices, they will wreak more havoc, and more venom will be produced. She knows her Adult, and more precisely, her Inner Mother, needs to take over from here. It is too great a burden for her ego’s Wounded Inner Child or Victimised Inner Teen to bear. They simply do not have the resources, and they are too fiery.
Her Inner Mother would step in with compassion, and with understanding for her anger. This Inner Mother would know that underneath the immature tantrums is just a hurt little girl who felt overlooked, unsafe, and unimportant as a child. She would hold her and provide a loving bosom for both her Wounded (and what some would call – her Spoilt) Inner Child, and her Angry, Victimised Teenager.
When that happens – when her Inner Mother holds her with compassion and understanding, her Young Adult can flourish, become a Fully Mature Adult and Nurturer, and, when the time comes, step into her full grace as an Independent and Adventurous Enchantress, and later, a Wise and Knowing Elder.
Or is she missing something??
Is all that is needed just some inner wisdom and compassion??
She consulted her trusted allies, The Ocean, and The Wind.
They did not answer straight away. Instead, they showed her what was needed, by sending The Martyr.
This one, her Inner Martyr, is a real piece of work. She rallies others for her cause. The Immature Rebel, in her quest not to stand alone as Victim, enlists “support”. Because underneath it all, she still hopes for adoration, acknowledgement and validation, and even their pity is better than nothing!
What a mess!
That is what happens when we let only a part of The Mother step in. For The Mother’s full compassion is FIERCE. The Nurturer within is not complete if only her feminine side is activated. Her full gifts are her commitment to lovingly, yet firmly discipline, so that our Inner Child is supported, our Inner Teen can learn, and our Inner Young Adult can stand on their own. Our Inner Mother must also be firm and fierce, and wrathful towards the disempowering leeches taking hold of our Inner Child.
When our Young Adult’s normally passionate soul becomes frazzled and a Martyr (or any other disempowering persona) step in, we have to enlist the full Mother – the Fierce Mother. The one who sees our distress and wipes our tears, and then instructs us to pull up our big-girl panties. The one who lovingly embraces, and honestly shares that life is not always fair. Not from our vantage point, as least. And that people may hurt us, overlook us, or treat us in ways that we may not expect to be treated. The Fierce Mother will share that we do not need to see their perspective – not now – but that all is in perfect order and that we are protected, and so we have to show courage and straighten up. Because the Fierce Mother is also The Good Mother, and the The Good Mother is in union with The Father, who protects, guides, and provides.
And so, with the help of her Inner Fierce Mother, her Inner Teen recovers. No longer the victim, but having seen The Victim first-hand, she knows the pitfalls of using her pain unconsciously. She knows the venom of the snake inside of her, and respectfully commands it to dance with her instead.
With an unexpressed or unlived or Martyring Adult in her veins, she would become a wimpy Mother, a scornful, menopausal Enchantress, and a decrepit Elder. But now, her Young Adult can become a Healthy, Successful and Mature Adult with drive, focus, and clarity.
When the fullness of the Inner Nurturer steps in, we can have a re-run, with a slightly adjusted tone:
And as The Mother holds her with compassion, understanding, AND FIERCENESS, her Young Adult flourishes and becomes a Fully Mature Warrior and Nurturer, so that when the time comes, she can step into her full grace as an Independent and Adventurous Enchantress, and later, a Wise and Knowing Elder or Crone.
That is what the Ocean and the Wind showed her.
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About the Author:
Celeste Du Toit is a Holistic Soul Alignment Coach, dedicated to guiding you back to your truest essence. Her work focuses on archetypal imbalances and misalignments in the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies. Her intuitive, body-centered pathways lead to self-discovery, balance, and clarity.
Whether online or in-person at her home studio in Westville, KZN, she creates a space for you to move beyond limitations to Live Your Truth.
If you’re ready to embrace a life of deep alignment, soulful growth, and true transformation, visit https://celestedutoit.co.za/
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